Party in Philadelphia? I’ll be there, and I’ll bring some ladies, but first you have to do something for me.
You have to stop wearing party hats.
I mean it. It’s not even just parties anymore; you wore one to a neighborhood watch meeting for Gods sake. I assume that your “party” is for adults? I won’t have to find a Chuck E. Cheese on Yelp to get the directions, or know anything about the Spy Kids franchise?
It’s an imbecilic fascination and it will end today, or else… I turn your party hat party into a party hat intervention.
New Years is over. The other 364 days of the year try wearing a hat that adults wear– like a fez.
Yeah. Wear a fez.